I usually prefer to post curriculum related content, but today on this Back to School Eve I know that this post needs to be a "different". After all, isn't EVERYTHING "different" these days. This Back to School Eve is like no other that any of us have ever experienced.
I'm always excited and a little bit anxious because it means a fresh start. The school floors will be all shiny and untouched from the hard summer work of our dedicated custodians. The bulletin boards going down the main hall will be spruced up with a new "theme" for the year to highlight the impending student work that will be coming soon, but this year that excitement is drowned out by anxiety and fear of the unknown.
Let's be honest, most of us don't like the UNKNOWN and I'm certainly a person who enjoys predictability, routines, and structure. This year I feel like my world has been turned upside down by COVID 19 and nothing...NOTHING is simple anymore.
Certainly there are other educators out there feeling the same way. I went into teaching because I enjoy being WITH kids-not getting to know them through a computer screen. I enjoy planning with my colleagues through face to face conversations-not through shared documents. I enjoy getting to know families through parent nights-not through virtual meetings. BUT I keep telling myself that this is all just temporary and things will eventually get back to normal. But will they?
So here I sit on this Back to School Eve and here is what I do know...
-I'm thankful that my family lives close by and that I have gotten to see them regularly-in person.
-I'm thankful that my daughter gets a glimpse of normalcy though band practices during this "Senior Year" even though there may never be a real performance.
-I'm thankful my other daughter has socialization with her ball team to get her through the sometimes lonely days of middle school.
-I'm thankful for a principal who follows the rules, but still "thinks like a momma" and wants school to be as warm and inviting as it can be with social distancing rules in place.
-I'm thankful for a mom and dad who help me get the items I "need" for my classroom, although I never even thought I needed them until this year when supplies can't be shared.
-I'm thankful for a husband who is okay with me spending HOURS on the computer during my time off, not because I have to but because he knows that I need to feel mentally prepared ahead of time.
-I'm thankful for good friends who have spent hours this summer with me discussing what school MIGHT look like and how a teacher MIGHT handle all these new guidelines in a REAL classroom.
-I'm thankful to all the fellow educators and colleagues who have "entertained" my ideas for unit plans and getting started this school year.
-I'm thankful for a church family who recognizes the stress and angst that we teachers have been under this summer just from not knowing what our days and weeks ahead are going to look like...
So, yes I am VERY thankful for many, many things!
But at the same time, I have so many worries going through my mind that I'm quite certain sleep will elude me tonight.
-I'm worried that someone in my family might get sick...
-I'm worried that my plans for learning might not work...
-I'm worried that my daughter's senior year will be disappointing for her...
-I'm worried that my middle schooler won't be successful learning from home-alone-while I work...
-I'm worried I won't be able to turn school "off" when I enter my house each day... (that one has always been a personal struggle)
-I'm worried that some of my friends and colleagues don't feel safe returning to school...
-I'm worried that I may never get to meet some of my students...
-I'm worried that I will break one of the "new rules" unknowingly...
So to get to the point...
I don't know whether to feel excited, anxious or just plain numb but if you know a teacher, if you have children who have teachers, if you just care about teachers at all-say a special prayer of PEACE for all the teachers tonight and send a virtual hug their way because whatever the worries, they are real to them and we ALL just want to do what is right for our families and YOUR kiddos!
Until next time when I'll be back to posting curriculum stuff!
